A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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