And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
