you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
