I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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