Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He had one of those small greek statue penises
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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