But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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