My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
