Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
