I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
