the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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