you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
