I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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