It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
