can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
