Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Randomize
