What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
