think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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