I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
