Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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