I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I love you. Go after that dick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
