belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
another moral hangover. fuck.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
