two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
