I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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