absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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