How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
