Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
