Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
