Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
