i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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