shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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