Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
