Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
