I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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