i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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