a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
