I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
