i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
