Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
