and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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