Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
