when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
