I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
