I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
