Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
