Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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