It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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