If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
