so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
