And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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