Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
