they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
