Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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